Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Hiking in the rain... (haiku form)

Bell chimed at seven,
On my bed I laid thinking,
Why do I bother.

With a great, big sigh,
I struggle to leave my bed,
As seventh bell chimed.

I stepped out the door,
A darkened sky welcomed me,
Sun nowhere in sight.

Tears fell from the sky,
Sound of anvil filled the sky,
Chasing the blue light.

With a heart of stone,
With grim determination,
I continued on.

The hill is so huge,
It fills the entire sky,
A giant in green.

First small step I took,
Into shadow’s gaping maw,
Darkness surround me.

Bleakness consumed me,
Happiness abandoned me,
Light absent from me.

With fire in heart,
I burned away the evil,
That envelopes me.

Yet, my fire wanes,
And monsters close unto me,
Claws, fangs, eyes on me.

Shadows grabbed at me,
Succubus tried snaring me,
Demons blocked my path.

Holy light burst forth,
And a voice spoke unto me,
Be strong, end is near.

Darkness shied away,
Evil fled the untainted light,
Monsters released me.

Under the bright light,
I continued the one task,
I vowed would finish.

Quarter of hour,
I saw my destination,
Light end of tunnel.

The dark clouds are gone,
Father Sky stopped his crying,
Birds started chirping.

My last final step,
Brought me to top of the hill,
Where peaceful wind blew.

Never shall I try,
The fool's way of adventure,
Hiking in the rain...

Fine, I know it's not very good, heck I don't even know if what I write is haiku or not... but I'm running out of ideas of saying the same thing several times without boring my respected readers... that you! And since I'm still terrible at the free form of poetry, I tried the easier to follow haiku loh... but constructive criticisms are welcomed.

4 comments:

iamthewitch said...

I don't know how to judge a haiku piece but I'd say you did a commendable job! It kept me reading til the end at least :P Keep up the good work! Haha.. And I meant the hiking, not the writing :P

Bamboo said...

iamthewitch: Haiku is a three line poem using 5-7-5 syllables... but while the word "tear" is considered one syllable, is "tears" considered one or two? What about those with "ed"? If Boon Chew see this, I'll surely get shot by him...

meifong said...

Cool form of storytelling!
Lesson learnt - do not hike in the rain, I suppose? :P

Bamboo said...

Well, to be frank, it was rather forced kind of haiku... but yes, do not hike in the rain... or under the sun... or hike anytime at all :P