Three Polices in Four Days!

Yo, I'm back to the online community! Unfortunately, I left my camera in Rainbow's house so my report on my friend's wedding will have to wait.

Well, the most bizarre thing happened to me for the past four days. I have always been a law-abiding citizen and thus my encounters with the law enforcement side is minimal at best. However, I met with three different police for the past four days!

First, I had to meet with an uniformed officer to make a report on my missing passport. She was surprisingly chatty compared to my encounter with Prai police when I made a report on a car accident. This policewoman even complained to me that the server always break down and she always had to retype reports again and again :P. Anyway, the helped me rephrase the words in the report and she was occasionally dazzling me with her smile. (I'll make another post on what to do if you lose a passport later when I actually got one :P).

I also had the opportunity to see a lot, and I mean a lot of people being brought into the jail. Mostly are foreigners which I presume had no official papers to be in Malaysia. The police, however, in my opinion were to comfortable with them. They actually had their back faced to the prisoners without anyone else to look after them when he open the door to the jail! Sure, they couldn't have managed to escape the police station if they wanted to, but what if they grabbed a pair of scissors and held me hostage? I was just sitting several feet away from them!

After making the report and reaching home, I got a phone call from an investigating officer who wanted me to come for an 'interview' about my lost passport. I was expecting an interrogation but it turned out to be really an interview. She basically asked me about my family, my sister and stuff. Luckily she didn't ask which course my sister is studying as I had no idea :P. But she did ask me about the schools me and my sister study in, and the jobs I have done and so on. One thing I noticed is that they are not very well equipped. I was trying to hand a pen drive to her which contained my scan copy of the lost passport and she seemed to be unable to find a computer to access the files!

My final encounter is with a traffic police. I was caught in a speed trap! Here, I will put all the blame on my friends whom I took to Malacca with me to the wedding dinner. Basically, we had tight time constraint when we traveled to Malacca and thus my friends said that I can drive up to 120km/hr as the speed trap had a 10km/hr tolerance. I have always driven at 105km/hr maximum at all times. What they did not realize is that their assumption is based on the theory that the speed trap is in perfect condition. The tolerance is there for a reason and that is for when the speed trap itself is not accurate. Thus, if the speed trap measured 120km/hr when I was actually driving at 110km/hr, the police will note that I was still driving within limits because when he minus the 10km/hr tolerance, I'm still driving at 110km/hr. If I drive at 120km/hr, it is possible the speed trap will register 130km/hr (due to inaccuracy) and even with the 10km/hr adjustment, I will still be driving at 120km/hr!

Anyway,I got stopped the first time in the highway and I was damn scared. Then this police officer came up to me and told me that I was speeding and was driving at 120km/hr. I just smiled and neither nodded nor denying it because I had no idea what speed I was driving at that time :P. Anyway, he actually asked me if it is okay for him to give me a speeding ticket which is RM300! Is that normal? This is my first encounter so I don't know how to react. So I just nodded and he was asking me what is my job and where I'm heading and what's the load of luggage doing in the back of my car. He even asked me if I'm married and why I'm not married at 28 (he made a calculation mistake) when I said I'm still single!. Luckily he didn't check the luggage or he'll find loads of "DVDs" :P.

Well, the only thing left for me to do is to act innocent, which is of no difficulty at all :P. I gave him my most wide-eyed innocent look and the sweetest smile (a female might have a better result, I guess :P)... and he suddenly said he's going to let me go on a warning this time. I was shocked... and he had to repeat the statement again before I drove away from the other speed maniacs that were stopped by the side of the road!

Well, the moral of this story is that there is nothing to be afraid of the police as long as you're a law-abiding citizen like me!

Christmas Ravings

This is my first post about Christmas... and this is the first time I'll not be celebrating Christmas with any friends since secondary school. Whatever it is that I did in primary school, I can't remember :P.

When I was in secondary school, I celebrate Christmas eve with a group of friends in church. Yup, that's right, I'm not a Christian but I go to church... it's not exactly shocking. I was there to celebrate with my friends and also pay my respects to another religion (I'll make another post on my views on religion another time). Being there will at least infect you with the Christmas spirit. Everyone who attended the church will be in great spirits (otherwise how could they have sung scores of songs for several hours straight? :P) After the event ended, my friends and I would just sit in front of the church, hanging out (at that time, mamak stalls were rare and unpopular).

When I was in university, of course I celebrate Christmas eve with my uni friends... which unfortunately, they did the same thing every year. First, they'll go to Kampung Portugis in Melaka to watch other people's nicely decorated house and for countdown. After that, we'll go to some pub and drink till senseless. For me, that will be the only time in the whole year where I drink alcohol. It's expensive, bitter and makes you feel queasy... no idea why anyone would want that.

Even when I started working in Selangor, I would travel back to Melaka every year to do the same thing again with them. However, this year, my Melaka friends have all moved out and is spread all over Malaysia. And those that I am working with or stay in the same state is already packed and prepared to leave for hometown or overseas before Christmas eve.

The reason I will not go back home on Christmas eve is to avoid massive jam. I don't know why some people would be willing to sit in a car several hours waiting for the cars in front of them to move. Me, I would do almost anything to avoid a jam. Previous years, I avoid jams for CNY, Christmas and any other celebration by taking an extra day of leave. For Christmas, I would usually take one day leave for Christmas eve and another on Boxing Day. Since this year I had to take leave up until New Year, I figured it's best not to take any additional leaves.

And hence, I have to celebrate Christmas eve alone. Of course, I don't really need to celebrate it alone. Across Malaysia, there'll be numerous countdown celebrations and all I have to do is just blend in. Christmas countdown is one of the few events where most people don't mind you shouting along with them.

But then again, being a person who hate car jams and dislike traveling, I won't be going to such packed, hot and noisy place. Instead, I prefer to have peace and quiet... it is supposed to be a peaceful night (Cantonese translation :P).

I'll just get some chips, soft drinks and maybe pizza and then get into a movie marathon... it has been a long time since I've watched DVD movies... and there's a backlog of pc games that I'm supposed to have finished by now. Besides, I'll need to sleep early so I can travel back home at 4.30 am to reach home in time to have breakfast with my parents... and then I can sleep the whole day in an air-conditioned room! Ah, air-condition... one of the best creation made by mankind ever!

Well, that's all folks, I might not be able to update the blog until 5th Jan 2009... I'll try to update it in some Internet cafe somewhere but no promises as I'm sure that you'll have other interesting things to do other than reading my blog.

So, Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year! (yes, I changed the words on purpose :P)

Movie Review 15: Yes Man, the ultimate power of YES!

Title: Yes Man

Director: Peyton Reed

Running time: 1 hour 24 minutes

Genre: Comedy

Did you know that when you call someone a Yes Man in Malaysia, it's considered one of the vilest statement one can make to another? In offices, there're bound to be some who are considered by their colleagues as Yes Man. This means that this particular person will say yes to his superiors no matter what. In turn, whatever things he says yes to his boss, will have to be carried out by his subordinates and thus a Yes Man boss in one of the most hated person in the office, second only to backstabbers and surprisingly is considered worse than 'Tai Chi masters.' Of course, nowadays, it is rare to have a Yes Man superior if they are not backed by at least some kind of proficiency. When backed by some proficiency however, his climb up the corporate ladder would be fast.

Okay, what I said above has nothing to do with this movie... just want to write something to make this blog longer :P.

After a long absence from the silver screen (this year's production being only the voice over in Horton Hears a Who), he made a comeback in the comedy genre... I'm talking about Jim Carrey!

I have always thought that Jim Carrey is one of the most successful comedians and I had a really good time with his whole slew of humorous movies such as Liar Liar, Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, etc., etc. When he moved away from the comedy stream and into a more serious tone such as The Truman Show, I was saddened but nonetheless, impressed. It was a stunning masterpiece, of which I used as one of my essays in Film Analysis in my English class in college.

Back to the movie... Yes Man talks about Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) whom I suspect due to his divorce with his wife, became a person who shun responsibility and social life. Then, one of his friend introduced him to this seminar who taught him the power of YES! He was forced to make a covenant that he has to say yes to everything or bad luck will befall him... and hence, the beginning of the amazing power of YES!

Well, anyone with a lick of sense should know that saying yes to everything is just disaster. I will not spoil the end for you (which I don't think is a spoiler anyway), but Carl was mysteriously lucky when he began his very first yes in taking a homeless guy up the hill, where after some 'incident', he met the love of his life.

To say that this is a very funny movie would cause other readers who read this blog to throw rotten tomatoes at me. There are some sections of the movie where it's just gross, and I hate the gross kind of funny. Fortunately, most of the other hilarious part of the film is executed beautifully.

While this might not be the best work done by Jim Carrey, it is nevertheless timely since most of us are onset by demoralizing situations and it is a good movie to raise your spirits just in time for Christmas and New Year Holidays.

Observation: Based on a biographical book written by Danny Wallace, a British author, producer, and journalist who spent six months answering "yes" to any given question or proposal and recording the results. (Taken from IMDB)

Bottomline: Good pre-Christmas movie

Bamboo Ranking: 3.3 / 5.0

Wedding dinners - then and now

The Chinese called getting a wedding invitation as a red bomb... and I believe it is meant to be insulting. How you call something a bomb and not being insulting? I for one, do not understand the whole fiasco in receiving invitations.

I mean, when you get invited to a marriage dinner, it meant that they at least remembered your name when preparing the long lists of family, family's friends, relatives, etc. Thus, I was puzzled when people shuddered or joked about it when they received an invitation. Further questioning revealed that they deemed getting an invitation card as equivalent to extortion of money!

Why on Earth would anyone think that? Traveling back to the olden days, giving red packets filled with money by attendees of dinner to the couples are a form of blessing and well-wishing. It sort of meant the attendee is in approval of their marriage and wish them to have good long years ahead of them.

Unfortunately, somewhere down the road, being a Chinese trademark, someone figured out a way to make money out of it. It is generally considered rude if you get your invitation and not attending the dinner. If you are busy, you're supposed to send in a gift (usually red packet) for the couple. Thus, some despicable husband/wife/family/relatives thought of inviting everyone including those that they do not even remember the name of!

And thus began the aversion of getting wedding invitations. Which was understandable... if you're getting invited to a dinner of someone that you barely know of! However, the same complainants are being invited by their (supposedly) good friends. And yet, they would be complaining and stuff. I supposed it is generally regarded that someone is uncool or insane if they do not complain when getting an invitation to a wedding dinner.

Of course, those who held wedding are not blameless too. The first time that I was invited to a wedding dinner, I had what my Malay teacher said a 'cultural shock'. I knew that my parents would prepare a red packet for couples whenever they attended a wedding dinner... but I have always thought that it's sort of voluntary. I mean, you invited me to a dinner... it's not a movie or circus where I have to pay for admission!

Imagine my surprise (yes, I don't have any street smarts) when my friends who came with me told me that I'm supposed to prepare a red packet to give to the couple. And there is even a standard price too! What has the world come to? The acceptable amount of money that one is supposed to put in the red packet is determined by the place/state the dinner is in... it is also based on whether the dinner is in a hotel or in a restaurant... also if no alcohol is served in the wedding dinner, the market price is supposed to drop drastically! I attended this non-alcoholic dinner where my friends actually revised the amount in the red packet when they found out about it! And oh, we're supposed to write our name at the back of the red packet so that they will know who paid less and who paid more! Ugh! My friends kept on telling me that it's the custom, but the problem is that this very practice violates the spirit of the custom that we're supposed to uphold. 

Some of my friends said that the couple would go bankrupt if they held the wedding dinner and invited us for free. However, one must ask why do you need so many people to attend your dinner in the first place? For me, I don't see any reason of even inviting some of my relatives that I have not spoken more than ten sentences for the past 20 years. And I fail to see the need to invite your colleagues who can barely utter your full name!

I do not mind giving red packets to couple because as I said earlier, it's a form of blessing and well-wishing. And if I attended the wedding, then it meant that I am really just trying to wish the couple well and not because I had to. However it really irked me as to how commercialized this has become. I attended one wedding where there's this receptionist (formed with the bride's friends) who will check your name against a list and then give me the seat number only when I presented them the red packet! I did not even get to pass on some well wishes to the couple!

If I were to hold a wedding dinner (which, by the way is... never!) I would not be accepting red packets... and yes, that meant that my spending would be more, but I see it as a good opportunity to trim the guest list down to a precious few. Why would you want to invite someone and then talk not more than a sentence during dinner? Through this, I would be able to really talk with those few who I treasured the most, making them as a memorable part of my wedding instead of thinking back and not remembering who attended my wedding and who did not. I would also not serve alcohol in the dinner. Afterall, if I'm not taking money from you, you can't complain what I decide to serve or not to serve :P. 

I could never find out the relation of alcohol with wedding dinner... my friends said that drinking alcohol will make people happier... duh, if you're not happy enough for me and need booze to create some artificial happiness, don't come to my wedding dinner! Besides, I see nothing happy about watching my guest raving, ranting and singing all through the dinner. Also, I'm sure my wife would prefer a sober husband rather than a smelly, vomiting and babbling stranger when she retire for the night. Besides, being drunk in front of your wife/husband is the worst possible image you could show to them and who knows what secrets you might spill out during that time (eg. calling out another person's name who is not your wife/husband, parents or dog again and again is a sure way to have a one-night marriage):P.

It is really a waste that such a beautiful (supposedly) once in a lifetime event turned out to be such demoralizing and ugly thing just because a few people made a bad impression. I guess it really is true that a drop of colouring will destroy a whole bowl of milk (taken from a Malay proverb).

Movie Review 14: The Day the Earth Stood Still... Aliens, Evironment, blah, blah, blah

Title: The Day the Earth Stood Still

Director: Scott Derrickson

Running Time: 1 hour 44 minutes

Genre: Sci-Fi, Thriller

I have been craning my neck for this movie. I mean, it's Keanu! Who doesn't like Keanu? Boyish looks, innocent face and those blank but cute expressions... I'm talking on behalf of the girls, okay... I have this one friend who like Keanu so much that she actually attempted to watch this movie at the first week of its screening! I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's big... she usually watch movies at the very last moment... the time where only a selected few cinema is still showing that particular movie.

Well, enough blabbering... let's talk about the movie. It is good to see an escape to those terrorist-themed movies... I mean, there's only THAT many ways you can shoot someone, you know. Anyway, this movie's plot is nothing new. It talks about an alien, Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) being sent to Earth to monitor the humans and to decide whether to "save the Earth from humans". Predictably, he announced that humans are a destructive a species and should be purged to allow the Earth to regenerate and to be repopulated. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly), a famed astrobiologist, with her stepson attempted to sway Klaatu from his decision.

Even before watching the movie, I already know what would be the ending of the movie... of course the power of human compassion and love wins. It doesn't matter that the Earth is dying, and it doesn't matter that more than 50% of the Earth's population is fighting against one another... as long as there is a tiny spark of love left, it will be alright. Just in case you didn't realise it, I'm being sarcastic here.

So, does knowing the storyline before watching it make the movie terrible? Well, astoundingly, no. While this movie will not last even a year in our minds, it is still executed nicely. The plot is thin but you won't feel bored throughout the movie and there are no squeamish love scenes in this movie which seemed to be available in any type of movies; romance, horror, thriller, action, comedy and even animation!

Keanu once again nailed the character with stunning effect. Generally, his acting skills are not considered brilliant. However, his semi-wooden face is perfect for roles like aliens, robots, clones... all the hi-tech expressionless roles. Hope to see more of him in the future.

There's also something that I realised in the movie. The ability of the US government to allow such demeaning movies to be screened is admirable. When you watch this movie, you'd be laughing at how stupid they are at reacting to their encounter with unknown beings. Just a side note, I think there's a law that says that it is illegal for a common citizen with no approval to contact with alien life forms too!

I supposed that apart from the environmental message that the film is trying to send, it is also trying to say that technology would be our ultimate unmaking. He repeatedly shows how all our technologies are used against us when the US is battling one single automaton.

Well, it a movie with Keanu, message on environment and technology and alien technology! What's not to like?

Observation: When the automaton is purging the life on Earth with its tiny critters, Keanu's clothes are surprisingly resistant to it even though it managed to disintegrate a stadium in seconds.

Bottomline: A surprisingly simple but enjoyable movie

Bamboo Ranking: 3.8 / 5.0

Movie Review 13: Body of Lies - Unending story of terrorism

Title: Body of Lies

Director: Ridley Scott

Running time: 2 hours 8 minutes

Genre: Action, Drama, Thriller

With American Gangster and Gladiator in the director's pocket, I would have expected a far better work this. This movie was my first choice in the week of long holidays. Of course, I chose this movie not because of the director, but because of Leonardo DiCaprio. His superb work in Blood Diamond, The Aviator and Catch Me If You Can have made me sitting at the edge of my seat, expecting another dazzling display.

Needless to say, I was disappointed. Of course, if doesn't have much to do with Leonardo's acting skills but the story line. Since 2000, there has been a slew of movies about terrorism... and frankly, I'm quite sick with that.

This movie is about Roger Ferris (Leonardo), a CIA operative who is trying to track down a terrorist Al Salim in Iraq. Together with his handler, Ed Hoffman (Russel Crowe), they hatch plans to snare the evading terrorist. Well, basically that's the whole plot!

I do not know if the director is trying to show off American technology or trying to unsettle us... but the wide usage of satellite to track someone is really unsettling... I have always thought of it as a myth... sure a satellite can show where a person is in a general area, but the degree of precision and clarity shown in the movie meant that there really is nowhere to hide.

Also, ease of Roger to use the identity of an innocent architect in his plans to lure Al Salim out from his hiding place is frightening. I mean, it could be any one of us... and you won't know what happened until a group of terrorist kidnap you and attempt to get information out of you.

Anyway, this movie is pretty easy to understand so there'll be no brain-racking while you're watching the movie. Unfortunately, it sort of meant that this movie felt like being dragged too long (which being 2 hours, felt really quite long). In conclusion, this is definitely not the best work presented by Ridley or Leonardo.

Observation: When the trucks are driving in circles, kicking up the sand to prevent the satellite from watching them, what makes them able to determine the correct direction to leave the circle? (They are trying to smuggle Roger to their hiding place, but the truck with Roger in it has to drive in the correct direction when it leaves the circle and I don't think it's possible to see which direction it is heading, with all the sand flying around.)

Bottomline: Won't hurt to give this a miss.

Bamboo Ranking: 3.0 / 5.0

Movie Review 12: Transporter 3... where writers should be sacked, staked and burned

Title: Transporter 3

Director: Olivier Megaton

Running time: 1 hour 40 minutes

Genre: Action, Thriller

Okay, so I'm a little bit biased... I hated Transporter and Transporter 2. So, when I watched Transporter 3, I went in as a skeptic... and came out as one pissed off cinema patron. It's like at this age and time, how can anyone make such a terrible, terrible movie... even home videos are sometimes much better than this.

Sure, it has all the things that 'should' make bloodthirsty humans crave for... nice car, nice fighting moves, nice kabooms... but the very fundamentals of the movie is missing... and that is speech. Yup, and hence the title.

Well, the story this time is about a company who is threatening a minister by kidnapping his daughter and force the minister to sign some documents that would allow the company to dump several shipments of wastes in the country... and the 'Transporter, Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is forcibly employed to transport some goods. Just like every villain, they try to kill everyone when the job is finished... well, almost finished anyway and it's payback time.

Well, the kabooms and speed car chases are okay, I supposed... but then again, this is the age where we have seen tonnes of movies like this... if this movie came out a decade earlier, it would have garnered good reviews... however, now it's just all same old, same old.

As I said earlier, the fundamentals of this movie is missing. The characters' lines are just terrible and catastrophic. Half of the time, I just can't make out what are they saying and the other half, the jokes just fall flat on the floor... splat! I don't know if they have a faulty mike or the characters are the ones making the lines, but this might be the only movie that I watched in cinema where I actually felt sleepy. Even that disastrous "Bridge to Terabithia" did not make me want to leave the cinema before the movie ends.

Jason Statham as Frank Martin... the Transporter is okay I supposed... though this movie sort of focus on him breaking the rules that he made for himself... yeah, that's a 'big surprise'. However, the one single character that I think might burn forever in my mind is Natalya Rudakova as Valentina Vasilev... the damsel in distress. If you are looking for a benchmark to call a woman a bitch, that's the one you should look for. Her body language. her face (which is terrible looking, by the way), her speech all of them make me just want to slap her crazy. If I were Frank, I seriously would just leave her by the side of the road and drive away... that, of course is before Frank realised her importance.

In summary, do not watch this movie... not even for the actions... it might just get the worst movie of the year award.

Observation: I thought that it is impossible to smash a car window under water... but it seems that Frank has super strength.

Bottomline: Avoid at all costs

Bambooo Ranking: 2.0 / 5.0