Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sports (Part 1)

(Update: I’m sorry to inform you all that my post for Sabah Trip Day 6 and Day 7 had to be postponed because I am still trying to get the pictures from my friends… just in case you did not notice, I was too busy climbing the mountain to take pictures at that time! Will try to finish the Sabah Trip posts ASAP as it has really stretched too long. As such, I will post one of my 99 pre-prepared post used for emergencies to sate your hunger :P)

First, one must realize that sports and exercise are two different things. I have no bad feelings towards exercising, but I absolutely loathe sports. Needless to say, I am one of those few rare people on Earth who does not touch sports at all. Well, I did take part in sports while I was in primary school, but from my teens onwards, I have not joined in any sports event.

I shall divulge the reasons for my abhorrence towards sports in two posts. One, it’s from personal experience and second, it’s through point by point analysis. I’ll start with my personal experience first.

Just like any other boys in primary school, sports define who we are. Guys play sports like football, basketball and badminton while girls play skipping ropes, throwing stones and box hopping. My first sport was football. It was a good activity. You got 24 guys playing in a mud-filled field with all their attention focused on the sphere shaped thingy. For those who know me, they’ll know that I am a non-confrontational type. Thus, I preferred to be a defender (I was too skinny to be a goalkeeper, they said)… which I liked… let the others run after the black and white rolling thing.

I would have made a good goalkeeper. I think it is one of my hidden special abilities… no matter where I stood, the football would definitely seek me out… and always embraced me by the head. I was not exaggerating when I called myself the ball magnet. No one could have been hit on the head as many times as I do… I might even make it to the Guiness World Record! I was already wearing spectacles that time and after breaking two glasses in three games, I quit football.

Well, I might have better luck with the ball if it is not shot in my direction. So, I turned to basketball. I have a cousin who was quite good in basketball and I asked him to teach me about the rules and stuff. Before that, I tried playing basketball by myself. I did not try any of those impractical moves that those youngsters did in those days. Instead, I focused on putting the ball through the hoop… and I was amazing! 8 out of 10 throws? I would say that it’s more than a beginner’s luck. So, primed with confidence, I took my first practical lesson with my cousin… and I almost lost my two legs… okay, that was exaggerating. However, I sort of stepped on the basketball while happily slamming it to the ground. I slipped and fell and I was bleeding from my knees. Luckily my kneecaps were undamaged or I’ll be riding a wheelchair for the rest of my life!

Okay, so balls are a no-no. So, I took up badminton. I mean, you can’t be hurt by the shuttlecock, can you? So, I told my parents about that and they were very supportive. They bought me a racquet and even ask my uncle (who is a contractor) to draw the lines for a badminton court in my mother’s shop. There is a part of my mother’s shop which has no roof and it was an in-house garden. Thus, they destroyed the garden, cemented the floor and voila, an in-house open air badminton court! At that time, we were in the Rashid Sidek era, and at that time, badminton received more attention than football in Malaysia. Friends and relatives came over to my mother’s shop to play badminton with me. I even invented several smashing methods that were powerful and graceful at the same time!

I could have even joined BAM if the situation continued. However, the badminton era passed by and my friends began to be more inclined to football again. The only one left for me to play with was my sister… which I won against every single time that I was sick of it. Thus, my badminton racquet retired into a dusty shelf and never saw daylight again.

I was in my college years when I started to itch again… itching to be near a ball. Maybe I was clumsy while I was young… and I shouldn’t have given up easily after a few scrapes. However, I wanted to do something different and my college friend came over at that exact time and asked me to join the Bowling Club. I paid RM10 and I will get discounts every time I bowl in the bowling alley. I immediately start off with another college friend. Both of us suck at bowling, but I had a very great time. At last, a ball that would not hurt me!

I think it was my fifth time at the bowling alley when the incident happened. I was bowling alone… and my bowling points finally went into three digit numbers when there was a sharp cracking sensation. I looked down and stared at my left hand (I bowl using left hand)… and blood was pouring out from my thumb!!! Mysteriously, almost whole of my fingernail came off. Up until this day, I did not know what happened. I did not have long fingernails and it really is a mind-boggling incident. Almost crying, I ran to the nearest clinic, with some unfinished games left. Hard staring eyes bore into my skull… and I never went to that particular bowling alley again. I still play bowling with friends… maybe once a year, but my dreams of being a professional bowler were smashed to bits.

After that, I am 100% sure that misfortune would befall me if I’m near any spherical shaped thing. I am quite sure that in my later years, as a joke by God, I would be killed by a wrecking ball.

Well, that is all that I have to say about sports from my personal experience. Coming up next is a point by point analysis about the disadvantages of sports…

4 comments:

iamthewitch said...

Haha... you never failed to crack me up with your posts. :P I never knew you were a goalie before. And next time we shall play badminton after office hours! I have never played since high school as well and now you don't have any excuse :P

Yin Hoon said...

Care to join me for yoga and dancing? No spherical-shaped thing involved, I promise :p

Bamboo said...

iamthewitch: the main reason that I gave up badminton was because I was too good at it and there was no challengers... are you sure you're up to it? :P

yin hoon: isn't medicine ball (big plastic ball) used in yoga as well? I am actually thinking along those lines... just there's no decent gym / dancing classes around... there is a ballet school though...

Yin Hoon said...

I've been learning yoga for almost three years and no ball or whatsoever is needed so far. But anyway, there are actually a few types of yoga. You wanna do ballet? Hmmm.... interesting :p